I'm a socially liberal, educated pro-life person. Ask me anything.

Yes, I am pro-life. I am pro-woman, pro-equality, pro-feminism, and pro-choice in all matters except abortion (lol).

Yes, I know the number of women that died in back-ally abortions before it was legal.

Yes, I know that overturning Roe v. Wade will not decrease the number of abortions.

Yes, I agree the number one way to reduce abortions is through sex education and increasing the availability of birth control (which I am in favor of).

However, there is one place where pro-choice arguments stop convincing me: at the "life" question. If science cannot prove the moment when a person becomes a person, then let's ask ourselves more basic questions. Is a zygote living? Well, it is made up of living cells, so you could say it is living. However, that does not make it a person...I'll give you that.

So...if there is no conclusive way of proving when an unborn being becomes a person, we must look at this the way physicists look at tough questions. Shrodinger's Cat is a good way to interpret this. If you look at pregnancy like Shrodinger's cat, you must assume the being is simultaneously alive, and not alive: a paradox. So let me ask you this: if someone told you to stick a sword in a box--but there's a 50% chance there is a person in there, would you do it? I wouldn't. If there is even a 3% chance there is a person in there, I am not going to risk it.

So I do not have all the answers. I am not saying a zygote is a person. But I cannot conclusively say that it isn't a person either. And if I can't say it conclusively, then NO, I am not going to risk killing someone. Those odds are not in my favor!

I do not think use of emotional arguments, pictures of dead babies, or religious arguments are going to help the matter, though. The pro-life movement needs a different approach...an effective one.

Let's work to improve sex education in schools and the availability of birth control. But I am not afraid to say I think Roe v. Wade should be overturned ultimately. Yes, I know women will still get abortions...but the difference will be that they can be legally punished for it. The playground "everybody's doing it" argument is not going to work here. There is just too high of a chance that maybe, just maybe, you are ending the life of a human.

Please, feel free to disagree and/or debate. I welcome it.

Marilyn Monroe was NOT a size 16!

In my unpopular opinion, Marilyn Monroe was NOT a size 16....at least not by today's standards.

I have always been skeptical of the myth "Marilyn Monroe was a size 12."  I've heard anywhere from 12-16.  I mean...look at her.  You can tell she isn't overweight.  She's obviously curvy and beautiful. 

I will add a disclaimer here: in my opinion, size isn't a determiner of beauty.  In fact, I'm very wary to call anyone "unattractive."  The only time I would call someone "unattractive" is if they simply did not take care of themselves at all.  Beauty is very subjective, and ultimately comes down to a matter of personal preference.  Therefore, I am not referring to any kind of judgment of what is beautiful or attractive in this entry. 

According to one of her dress makers, Marilyn Monroe was 5'5''.  Her measurements were 35, 22, 35.  I don't know anybody today that can boast a 22'' waist!  Her weight fluctuated between 115-120.

However, Marilyn probably did wear a larger numbered size back then because sizing was different.  Today's sizes for women's clothing have changed. 

In the 1960's, women were on average 5’4'' and 120 lbs.  Their waists were on average 24-25 inches and their BMI's were on average 20.59. The average size for a woman was 8.  Today, that is more like a size 4.

The average woman today is 5’4'' and 166 lbs.  Their waists are on average 37.5 inches and their BMI's are on average 28.49.  Today, the size of the average woman is 10-14 depending on the brand.

I do know plenty of beautiful women that are the average size.  I'm not going to tell them they should lose weight.  I'm not even going to tell them to "be healthier."  I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist.  I don't know the diets of any of these women, so who am I to judge whether or not they are healthy, simply based on their dress size?

The one thing I can say is that Marilyn Monroe was MUCH thinner than the average American woman today.  If she were walking the earth in 2013, she would be wearing approximately a size 4. 

I'll come out:  I am 4 feet, 11.75 inches and 126 pounds.  My BMI is 24.8 (which is on the high side of normal).   I wear a size 6 (although I can wear anything from a 4-8).

Marilyn and her 22 inch waist

(For more on Marilyn, read "Today I Found Out")
(For more on average sizes, read "Paging Jane Doe")

You Sound Like A Tool

In my unpopular opinion, you sound like a tool when you say that.

What I am referring to is a popular answer to the question, "What kind of music do you like?"  Whenever people ask that question, they are trying to gauge what kind of person you are.  What kind of music you like says a lot about who you are. 

So whenever you answer:  "My taste in music is very eclectic," you sound like a tool.

Even if you don't use the word, "eclectic," you still aren't really answering the question by saying the phrase "all kinds."  Okay, everyone likes "all kinds" of music.  Probably anyone can say their tastes are "eclectic."  That. Is. Not. The. Question.

I know people are asking me that to get an actual idea of the type of music I like.  Even if you give a general answer such as "I like 90's alternative music," which I do, that is more specific than "all kinds."  Sometimes a good way to answer this question is to tell the person your top 3 favorite bands/artists (Mine are Coldplay, Nickel Creek, Beach Boys).  Sometimes you can answer by telling the person what radio station you listen to. 

Lately, my answer to this question would be "guilty pleasures."  (Lol)  I realize that isn't too specific.  Everyone has different guilty pleasures.  So I will be more specific. 


My current playlist to hula-hoop to:  (Yes, I am a hula-hoop enthusiast)

Creep - TLC
No Diggity - Blackstreet
Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran
Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz
Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money
She Wolf - Shakira
Blankest Year - Nada Surf
Can't Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Auf Achse - Franz Ferdinand
Golf Digger - Kanye West
Start the Commotion - Wise Guys
Tearin' Up My Heart - N'Sync

Of course, I need upbeat music to hula-hoop to.  None of these songs are my "driving music."  They're just fun!  You don't need to be so serious.  Just listen to what you want and don't apologize for it.

Atheism Takes as Much Faith As Religion

This is my first post in this blog in almost a full year. 

I am completely revamping this blog.  I changed the URL and Title. 

It isn't going to be too much different from what it was before.  This time, I am getting a little bit more raw with the subject matter and a bit more open about my actual opinions.  The reason I am doing this is because I am the type of person that tries to relate to everyone despite their opinion.  When I am talking to someone about something uncomfortable, I only talk about the parts of their opinion with which I agree.  I am a total chicken when it comes to debate and confrontation. 

Therefore, I am going to face my fears head-on by posting my true and actual opinions on controversial subject matter on the internet.  If you disagree with me, good...I want to hear from you.  I am posting my opinions, I am not saying I'm 100% right.  We can probably learn from one another through debate.  Please feel free to disagree, I do want to hear from you if you do.  I want to hear from you if you have something else to offer to the conversation.

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My First Blog Entry in "My Unpopular Opinion"

In my unpopular opinion, atheism takes as much faith as religion does. 

This is aimed at atheists that say "There is no god."  They are stating it as a concrete fact.  It would be more accurate for them to say, "I believe there is no god."  By saying the word "believe," they are being more intellectually honest because no one can scientifically prove there is no Creator or Deity.

I can understand science-oriented intellectuals becoming agnostics, because that is acknowledging that, just like the theory of evolution, you cannot prove Intelligent Design.  What you need in order to prove a theory is to repeat the experiment the same way successfully.  You cannot recreate the universe.  Therefore, neither Intelligent Design, nor the Big Bang/Evolution can be proven into Scientific Law.

Therefore, it is more logical to say, "I cannot possibly know for sure either way" than to say, "I know for sure there is no God" or "I know for sure there is a God."

The same level of faith in what you believe exists in religion and atheism.  If you are trying to be intellectually accurate, agnosticism would be more appropriate.

Me?  I am a Christian.  My beliefs are based on faith, just like an atheist's beliefs are based on faith.  I have faith God exists.  Atheists have faith in their belief there is no god. 

What do you think?

I Think I'll Go to Boston

I recently went to Boston, Massachusettes for a day trip.  Now, there are a lot of wonderful historical sites to see in Boston, so how could I possibly do them all in one day?  The Freedom Trail is how!

The Freedom Trail is free, and it has 16 historical sites on it.  You start off in Boston Commons (which is like Boston's "Central Park").  You can pay to have a tour guide, or you can tour yourself for free.  There is a red line that you follow throughout the city.  The last stop is the Bunker Hill Monument.

To see all the famous sites of the Revolutionary War that I have studied in history books was wonderful.  I saw the site of the Boston Massacre, The Old North Church (where Paul Revere placed the lanterns to warn about the British), Paul Revere's house, places where the meetings took place that lead to the Boston Tea Party.  The oldest remaining pub in America is in Boston, and along the Freedom Trail are many historical pubs.  If I go there another day, I'll do the "Pub Crawl," but this time, I just went to one pub for lunch.  I had the New England Clam Chowder (since I was in New England).

However, my absolute favorite thing that I saw was the Granary Burial Grounds, in which the most recent grave is from 1826, which means it is an incredibly well preserved historical burying ground.  Samuel Adams and John Hancock are buried there as well as Benjamin Franklin's family.  It was amazing to stand over the corpses of great men. 

If you remember in my blog, Get Away! I mentioned that not all trips have to be incredibly expensive.  Look for places that have free attractions, such as the Freedom Trail in Boston.  St. Louis is another fun city to go to that has tons of free attractions.  So, continue to get out and have fun without spending a ton of money!

Massachusettes State House, which is on the freedom trail.  Also famously pictured in the movie The Departed

Granary Burying Ground, where the youngest grave is from 1826.

Nesting

This is the reason I haven't posted a Project of the Day  in a long time:

I have been working on this blanket for my son, Peter (due in November) for months.  It's one of those things that I pick up from time to time, work on it, then forget about it for a while.  However, lately, I've gotten more into working on it, so I hope to finish it soon.  In the middle, there will be another blue stripe, and then at the end, there will be another blue corner. 

If you would like to see a finished version of my baby blanket, go to this entry to view one that I made for a friend's child.  Also click on that link to see how the blanket was made.

If you are pregnant, I would definitely advocate making things for your baby.  It will be a special keep-sake for them in the future.  I intend to make Peter some baby socks as well.  I also feel like knitting Peter his blanket is a bonding time for me and the baby.  I listen to music I want him to hear and knit and talk to him.  Pregnant women go through a period of "nesting" which is a natural, instincful process of getting ready for the baby. Knitting is a wonderful way to release that "nesting" energy. 

My aunt is also talking about us making a quilt for Peter.  If you know me, you know quilting is not my thing, unless it's on a potholder, which is small.  So we'll see if I end up doing that.  :-)

Poor Whites

I really enjoyed my Jacksonian America class this summer.  I did my book review for the class on a book called Poor Whites of the Antebellum South.  I realized how little people know about poor whites in Antebellum times because history books focus on plantation owners and slaves.  So I am posting my entire book review on here (It was only 4 pages), behind the cut.  It is important for history not to ignore entire groups of people.

Southern Culture of Honor

I recently reviewed an article for a class on the Southern culture of honor and found it very interesting.  Most of you probably saw the Hatfields and McCoys series on the history channel.  Many of you are also aware of the male egotism that has been especially notable in the South.  I wrote a paper on this subject based on an article, and thought I would share an exerpt with you if you are interested in Southern chivalric society.

"The article "Andrew Jackson's Honor" by Bertram Wyatt-Brown focuses on a side of Andrew Jackson most historians do not focus on, which is the concept of Jackson making decisions in his life based on defending his honor an the honor of those close to him. In the Old South, many Southerners believed themselves to be heirs to the Middle Ages custom of chivalry, which emphasizes honor, societal standing, and allows a man to defend his honor through violence when it is brought into question. This tradition was extremely prevalent throughout the South and brought many Southern men, especially lawyers, to actual duels. Wyatt-Brown offers the notion of honor as the main reason behind many of Jackson's important life and presidential decisions.

Wyatt-Brown notes how easy it is for modern students of Jacksonian history to focus in on Jackson's faults, such as Indian Removal and also when Jackson tried to prohibit the delivery of anti-slavery materials by law. However, he argues that even those things could be representative of Jackson defending his honor. After he took so much land from the Creek Indians, Jackson said it was because the Creeks didn't respect the American's strength since they sided with the British. Jackson also believed in the sovereignty of the American government and true abolitionists could cause a rift, so even that was threatening to his honor.

Wyatt-Brown also discusses how the desire for honor was a very typical reflection of the American South culture. Customs such as dueling were prevalent in this South as a result of this cultural desire for honor and dignity. In the American South, many Southerners felt they were heirs to European chilvalric times such as the Middle Ages. Thus, there was a tradition of code duello in which a man could defend his honor if it was question, even through violent means. Jackson was in several duels in his lifetime.

Wyatt-Brown recalls the time that Jackson killed Charles Dickinson, and notes that Jackson was the only American president to kill a man in a duel. Jackson preferred to handle his conflict with Dickinson over a horse gambling debt (and also insults toward Jackson's wife) in a "gentlemanly" way, by having a "proper" duel. To Jackson, the only thing worse than someone offending his honor was offending the honor of a woman. He staunchly defended the honor of his wife, which was repeatedly questioned since she had married Jackson without having been divorced from her first husband. Jackson thought that it was extremely inappropriate and appalling how men insulted his wife throughout her lifetime and even blamed one of her insulters, Henry Clay, for her death.

However, Wyatt-Brown also points out that many men went into these duels hoping their honor would be restored to them by winning, but much of the time the duels ended up having negative consequences to the victor's reputation. For instance, Wyatt Brown notes that Aaron Burr's career was damaged by killing Alexander Hamilton. Also, Jackson would not have been able to win an elected position in the years following the duel. Not until his victory in the Battle of New Orleans was Jackson's reputation restored."

Ancient Aliens?

I have been watching the History Channel show, Ancient Aliens and decided I had a lot to say about it, much like I did on my previous entry on the show Doomsday Preppers  .  Basically, this show is incredibly speculative.  Speculation is sometimes fun, but some historians can take it too far and I feel as though that is what this show does.  Now, I cannot say 100% for sure that they are wrong, since there is no proof that aliens do or do not exist.  But I can say for sure that in all of the scenarios they mention, there are far more likely explanations that aliens.

The ancient Sumerians believed that a superior race came from above from another planet and mixed with Neanderthals and that is how modern humans were formed.  The "historians/scientists" on the show believe this formation was from ancient genetic engineering and that the "superior race from above" is an ancient proof of aliens.  Now, the latest evolutionary theories suggest that modern humans, or homo sapiens, did not come after Neanderthals, but existed with them simultaneously.  The best theory is that both homo sapiens and Neanderthals descended from homo heidelbergensis, so they are actually thought to be "brother" species.  There is no proof that homo sapiens were able to interbreed with Neanderthals, however.  So before you could prove that we were genetically engineered into one species by aliens, you would first have to prove that homo sapiens could interbreed with Neanderthals, which is impossible to prove. 

The show also proposed that the beasts mentioned in ancient mythology such as the Minotaur (half man, half bull), Centaur (half man, half horse), and Cerberus (three headed dog) were all proof of ancient genetic engineering by aliens.  There are many reasons hybrids existed in ancient mythology.  One reason was that many ancient religions practiced animal worship.  Another reason is that many of these creatures were being punished by the gods by being turned into a hideous creature (such as Medusa).  Many times, hybrids made a philosophical statement about the inner battle humans have between going on their "animal" or base instincts, and being civilized.  Aliens is not the most logical solution that comes to mind. 

The show also proposes the aliens caused plagues.  The 430 B.C. Plague of Athens, the Justinian Plague, and the Black Plague were all events accompanied by reports of seeing glowing gold shields in the sky.  The "historians/scientists" on the show believe that ancient aliens had somehow weaponized airborne diseases that they used to wipe out the human race at certain points.  I would point out that many intense diseases, especially some as severe as plagues, are accompanied by hallucinations. 

The people on the show also find proof of aliens in plagues by saying that "In all ancient time periods, many humans believed that diseases and bad fortune came from above."  Well that doesn't necessarily mean aliens.  The ancient Greece called it fate.  The ancient Hindus called it karma.  Many other pagan religions thought it to be the wrath of the gods.  I don't know how you can pull "this means aliens exist" out of that. 

I don't think that anyone can say either way for sure that aliens exist or aliens do not exist.  However, this show seems to blame everything that ever happened in history on aliens.  And while you can't prove aliens do not exist, there are much more likely scenarios other than "the aliens caused this." 

 

Breasts

I have decided to write a blog about a subject that should not be a controversial subject, but for some sad reason is:  breasts.

The reason breasts are controversial is mostly due to humanity oversexualizing this part of the female anatomy.  I hate it when people look down on or talk bad about women who breastfeed in public.  I always want to ask them, "Do you eat in public?"  Babies are usually in public against their will.  Don't punish a child because you're embarrassed by seeing a naked breast.  Babies are people that need to eat and the breast is how they do that.

Now many people might agree with me on the point I just mentioned, but they may not agree with me on my next point, because it is a bit extreme to some.  I think that if it is socially acceptable for men to have their upper bodies completely exposed, it should be the same for women too.  Why are we covered just for having a lot more fat and tissue there?  Unfortunately, a lot of it is due to men, who because they are sexually attracted to women, are the ones unnecessarily oversexualizing breasts.  Therefore, breasts make men think of sex instead of nurturing.  Therefore breasts must be covered, I suppose.  I don't agree with that

Now, in regard to bras:  As much as I hate wearing them myself, I recognize there are benefits to them.  Bras keep your breasts stationary when you are moving, which prevents chest pain and reduces ligament tears in your breasts which can make them sag.  Bras also help your breasts look more aesthetically appealing.  I like both of those benefits of wearing bras, but let me tell you, I hate wearing bras.  To me, there is no such thing as a comfortable bra.  I really don't like how it's not socially acceptable to go bra less.  If I am modestly dressed, it should be no one's business what is under my clothes. 

This is one of those subjects that I would like to hear other people's opinions on.  I would love to hear what others think, even if they disagree with me.     

Love Being a Woman

It is absolutely a huge, major pet peeve to me when women diss other women just for being women.  You know what I mean; when you hear girls or women saying "I prefer to hang out with guys because women have way too much drama" or worse "Women are just so bitchy; guys are chill."  This grates on my nerves so bad. 

Offensive generalizations aside, most people you meet have the capacity to do good and the capacity to do bad.  Therefore, men are equally prone to having undesirable characteristics.  I could now use examples by naming characteristics men stereotypically have, but I am under the impression that individuals are different from one another and am not comfortable with profiling, stereotyping or generalizing all men into one sweeping, ignorant assumption. 

The most annoying part of women making these generalizations about one another is that I sense they are doing it to seem "cooler."  Seriously.  Like their mind-set is that, "I will seem more appealing to men if they believe I'm not like the stereotype of the way most people perceive women to be.  Therefore, if I let men know I am more like them, they will think I'm cool."  Whenever I hear women calling their own gender "bitches" or "dramatic" what I am hearing is "I'm insecure." 

It's wrong to generalize a large group of people.  That is why racism is wrong.  That is why sexism is wrong.  Just because you are dissing your own sex doesn't mean that makes it okay. 

Furthermore, I think it is important to love yourself.  If you are a man, I'm sure there are many things you love about being a man such as not bleeding every month, not having to bear children, having a higher income potential.  I hope that men will love themselves just as well.  But guys, being a woman is pretty awesome too and I'm really happy I was born one.  Women get much MUCH more freedom of dress.  Women can dress in pretty much anything and it will be socially acceptable (as long as it covers everything).  Men have very limited wardrobe options.  For women, it is socially acceptable to work a full time job, or stay at home, whereas men have much higher expectations to be the primary break-winner, and while some men can choose to stay at home it is not the social norm. 

My favorite thing about being a woman is feeling my unborn baby moving inside me.  Nothing can match that. 

I'm sure there are things you love about yourself.  Take pride in those things.  You don't have to hurt others or tear others down in order to feel better about yourself.  You can feel better about yourself by being confident in who you are.

I'm not going to be able to post a Project of the Day for a while, because I'm working on an extended project, making a blanket for my son, Peter who will be arriving in November.  I am knitting this blanket, much like one I posted about a few entries ago that I made for a friend.  I apologize for the lack of a project of the day for a while.

Get Away!

Everyone is always commenting on how much I travel.  Yes, I have gone on some pretty big trips in the past couple years, such as England, France, and a few to Florida, but inbetween the big trips, I'm still traveling, going on little weekend get-aways.

This type of travel is great for busy couples.  It's a wonderful way to spend time together and maintain closeness inbetween the hecticness of normal life.

This weekend, my husband and I went to San Damiano in southern Illinois.  It is a beautiful resort in the woods along the Ohio River.  All the cabins have a view of the Ohio River, and it has beautiful walkways and is located very close to Garden of the Gods, where we went hiking.  Nature get-aways are very nice to just relax and get away from it all.  I love seeing new places and exploring, but those type of vacations, while awesome, can be very hectic and busy and you don't really feel rested afterwards.  I wanted a trip where we could relax (like in the hot tub in our cabin) and be away from everyone and get away from our crazy lives. 

These weekend get-aways can also be very inexpensive, especially nature-type trips.  For instance, in the past few yeras, we have gone on several weekend trips like Red River Gorge, Cumberland Falls and Natural Bridge.  Now, we did stay in a hotel, which can add expense, but if you enjoy camping, these trips can be under $50, including meals.  Land Between the Lakes where I used to work also has many things to see for a good weekend trip. 

You can also make these city weekend trips or even day trips.  We have taken weekend trips to Indianapolis, IN, Cincinnatti, OH, Louisville, KY, Nashville, TN, and St. Louis, MO.  We visited historical places in these cities, cool restaurants, and other tourist attractions.  I named these cities because these are the bigger cities surrounding my state.  You may want to do this with cities surrounding your area. 

Basically, what I'm saying is that travel does not have to be a luxury for people with a lot of money.  It can be very easily accessible to you if you plan it correctly.  You can enjoy travel as a hobby and be seen as someone that travels quite a bit without spending that much money.  Do you have two free days this month?  Do it! 

My Project of the Day is in honor of last sunday being Easter.  I made Cadbury Egg Cupcakes.  Basically, it is just like making normal cupcakes, except with putting a frozen Cadbury Egg in the middle.  You can use mini Cadbury Eggs for the normal sized ones.  My biggest tip would be to make sure the Cadbury Eggs have been frozen for at least one day.  I didn't freeze mine long enough.  You could still see them in the middle, but it would be better to keep them frozen longer.  I also put a mini-egg on top for decoration (and yumminess!).  So go to the clearance section of your grocery store and stock up on these limited-time candies to make some tasty cupcakes!

Love One Another

Women have a difficult time releasing their desire for control at times.  Many women fear if they let go of their need to control a situation, their worst fears will come true, especially when it comes to their relationship with their husbands/boyfriends.  However, by tightening the grip you have on the situation, you are only making your partner want to squeeze out and get as far away as possible from you.  This goes for men as well as women.  It is extremely difficult, but we need to learn to let go.  The best way for a relationship or marriage to succeed is by only having two things:  love and respect.  All the other things a marriage needs such as loyalty, honesty, compassion, care, come with loving and respecting one another.  The number one thing to remember if you fear letting go is that if you give your partner the freedom to make their own decisions, they will see your efforts, and in turn respect you more.  If they don’t, you will finally be able to see what the real problems are in your relationship and hopefully begin to work them out.

For example:  Let’s say we have a wife who is trying to prevent her husband from leaving the house for fear he is cheating on her.  She tries to say it is her right to prevent him from leaving the house because he is not doing the right thing.  This does not matter.  The first thing she needs to do is recognize it is his right to leave the house and go out whenever he wants.  He is an adult capable of making his own decisions.  If he does happen to go to bars until 4 in the morning and cheat on her, then that is the problem you have to deal with by making sure to let them know this is not okay, and unacceptable behavior.  But you can’t try to control or smother a partner from making their own decisions.  This is the kind of problem that comes from mistrust in a relationship.  The point is that putting your trust in someone does make them want to please you.  If she had instead said, “Have fun with your friends” when he left instead of trying to prevent him from leaving, he would probably want to live up to her expectations.  Not only that, but he may also seek to live up to her preferred wishes, like that he shouldn’t go out for very long and not to do anything bad and come home at a decent time.  

If you want to control the situation, you are saying you don’t trust your partner.  If you don’t trust your partner, you don’t want to add problems to your relationship by smothering them.  If you don’t trust your partner because they are doing something bad, you REALLY don’t want to add trouble to your relationship by smothering them.  Deal with the real issue you are facing instead of trying to control it yourself.  You can’t fix someone else.  They have to fix themselves, and maybe they would want to if you let go.

When I try to control a situation, I personally am usually trying to fix a problem that I don’t want to talk about.  I’m trying to see if I can get away with fixing the problem by myself without discussing it with my partner.  This has never worked out for me.  Also, it is not respectful or loving.  Your partner may not be respectful or loving to you with their actions, but you will only make things worse by behaving the same way, getting angry, throwing insults, or punishing them.  Why try to fix a problem by making it worse?  It keeps on coming back to love and respect.  

This is not the “end all” to all problems.  Sometimes, you love, respect, give your partner all the freedom they need, and they still break your trust, hurt you, or disrespect you.  That is when things really get tough.  You may seek counseling at this point, or ultimately an end.  But then, you may also just keep loving and trying.  Don’t give up without a fight.  If you are a Christian, I encourage you to go here to remind yourself of what the Bible says about how we should treat each other in a marriage.  Many other religions have similar standards and they also all come down to loving and respecting.


I have gotten a bit behind on my projects, since I am working on so many at once.  However, that’s a good thing because it’s something I enjoy doing.  I am currently working on probably the simplest thing you’ll ever learn to knit:  a scarf.  Cast on around 15 stitches, but really however many you want for desired width.  Knit back and forth til you reach a desired length.  I am switching colors along the way.  Here is one I made for a friend in December (since my current one is not finished).  She’s also wearing a hat I made (which is a bit more complicated, so I’ll focus on the scarf today)..   

"Doomsday Preppers"

I don’t know if any of you have seen the show “Doomsday Preppers” on the History Channel, but it is pretty ridiculous.  As described in the show’s title, this show is about people preparing for an apocalypse.  Before watching this show, I assumed that it was people preparing for 2012 doomsday type stuff.  However, the people on this show all have different theories about how the world is going to end and they are all preparing for something strangely specific such as the poles shifting, an oil crisis, a financial crisis.  Someone even said they were preparing for a power outage (and I was like, “Really?” You think a power outage is the end of the world?).

If I believed the world was going to end, I would not want to spend the last moments of my life obsessively preparing for an event that may or may not occur.  I feel sorry for these people because they are wasting all of their time and days with what sounds more like OCD than preparations. 

However, there is something to be said for having a “just in case” plan.  I would certainly not recommend doing what they do on that show.  But you can live a normal life and at the same time still be prepared for an emergency.  Here are a few ways:

1.    Know how to hunt.  The best way to survive would be to live in an area where you can already hunt on your own property.  That way, you wouldn’t have to uproot yourself in case of an emergency.

2.    Know how to garden.  Once again, the best thing to do would be to already have a garden before an incident happens.  This also requires living somewhere where you can have a garden.

3.     Have a heat source/cooking source that does not require electricity.  Whenever I buy a house, I intend to have a wood-burning stove in it.  However, this could be as simple as having a grill in your backyard or a Dutch oven.  You need to know how to prepare food without electricity. 

4.    Know how to preserve food.  Try to learn and practice canning.  Canning would be your best bet for a lot of stuff.  Collect mason jars, look up how to can and practice.  Know how to salt meat.  Also read up on burying for preservation, or other methods such as drying.

5.    Any one of us could stop buying clothes right now and still have enough clothing to last the rest of our lives, but it may be helpful to learn how to mend clothes by hand sewing so that the clothes you already have will last.

6.    Be well educated in basic first aid.

7.    Make sure you have a self-defense plan for intruders, such as the guns you already have for hunting.  ;)

8.    Hope to my goodness that the apocalypse you are preparing for isn’t a nuclear disaster, in which case, even if you survive, you will not be able to do any of the above. 

For the project of the day, I am working a winter ear-muff headband.  It simultaneously can look cute and keep your ears warm in winter.  For all one color, just cast on approximately 10-13 stitches (depending on how wide you want it).  I am alternating colors on mine.  Keep knitting back and forth until it measures the right length around your head.  Some knitters measure there heads first, but I’m more or less a “see how it goes” type knitter.  Cast off when it is the right length, then darn the ends together with matching yarn. 

I am not done yet, but here are the beginnings of my headband.

A Personal Decision

The decision to either stay home or put your children in childcare and go to work after having a baby (or a few) is a personal decision a couple must decide on themselves.  But if you are struggling with this decision, let me help you out on the benefits and disadvantages or each decision.

Going to Work:

First of all, if you don't mind going to work, you have to do some calculations first.  Will the money you make be profitable to you after you deduct the cost of childcare? That is the #1 question to ask yourself before going to work.

In the case that going to work is profitable to you, there are some benefits.  Obviously, one of the benefits is having extra money of your own without having to constantly as your husband for some. The biggest benefit is the feeling of having your own life and accomplishments.  Stay at home moms can at times feel as though even though they are working very hard, they have no appreciation from others or personal accomplishments of their own.  Working can restore that feeling that you have your own life.  A huge disadvantage associated with working is that it can actually feel like you are living two full time lives, or that you are working two full time jobs instead of one.

Childcare can be very beneficial for children.  Children learn social skills very early and receive an education at this crucial time when their brains are developing most.  Children who wait to even go to preschool later (at age 3 or 4) or kindergarten have a much more difficult time in school.  As a former childcare worker, I can tell the children who are just beginning preschool and the ones that have been in it since a baby or toddler.  They end up doing very well in school.

Staying Home:

Staying at home has its advantages, where you simply choose to or realize working will not be profitable enough to make it worth it.  The biggest benefit with this is that you know that your children are in excellent care in your own arms and not in the arms of strangers you only sort of know.  You get to spend quality time with your children. You may not even worry about your child getting a good education, because you are their personal teacher and tutor.  Children of stay at home moms have the potential of doing excellent in school as long as the stay at home mom is educating them in the home.  Also, as a stay at home mom, you have more time to keep your home in order.  Working moms may have chaotic, messy homes, and if they don't, it is probably because they are sacrificing sleep to take care of it.

There are disadvantages such as having to rely on your husband's money and not your own.  As I mentioned earlier, some stay at home moms can feel like they don't have a life of their own. But truly, many stay at home moms feel lucky that they can be with their children when their children need them.
Please comment and let me know what decision you have made regarding this, and how your decision is important to you.  My mom was at times a stay at home mom and at times a working mom.  At times, she did both and worked from home.  I hope to stay at home, but also to work on the side whenever I become a mom. 

For my project of the day, I have made soap!  This soap is white glycerin based with red dye, and cinnamon scent.  Glycerin is very good for your skin, and the dyes I use are safe for the skin too. 

Here is my soap in the mold after melting it down and mixing in the ingredients.  It is hardening.

Here is my finished soap.  Smells awesome.

Bi-lingual Education Advocacy

Usually, I discuss things vaguely having to do with women and history.  But in actuality, I simply write what I am passionate about.  Truly, I will not digress from my main topic of writing on this blog very much, but I have a lot to say about the following subject

I would love for you to post your opinion on this issue.  I have always thought it was sad that several of my students are fluent in both Spanish and English, but since they have been in an American school since kindergarten, have only learned to read and write in English.  Many of my fluent Spanish speakers that speak Spanish in the home cannot read or write in Spanish at all.  The phonics are different, and the alphabet is different.  Recently, several parents have expressed this as a lament, that their children cannot read and write in their native language. 

Let me just say that I realize the parents came to America voluntarily and are in our school systems.  But since coming to America, they have to work hard to make living and may not have the education or resources to teach their children Spanish at home.  Their children are not the ones that made the choice to come here, but they are, and because of a language barrier are falling behind.
If you were a parent with your children in another country, would you not want them to learn your own native language? 

There is an elementary school in Lexington, KY that has bilingual education for American children.  Half of their day is taught in English and half in Spanish.    This is Maxwell Elementary, close to UK's campus in Lexington.  This seems like a great idea to me.  I know it will never happen anywhere in my school system, but something that may be more realistic that might help these students are perhaps tutoring sessions to learn to read and write in Spanish after school.  Or perhaps Spanish could be one of the "Specials" schools offer, similar to Music and Art. 

I've been considering starting a Spanish Club to help the children learn Spanish.  But the unfortunate thing is that I can only influence my own school system.  I wish other school systems would acknowledge this issue better. I would also highly recommend Rosetta Stone.  I use it in the classroom for kids trying to learn English, but it also helps when you're learning any language.

This is just something I'm wondering about and was thinking maybe I could get your opinion on the issue.  Being a bilingual person can yield many opportunities later on, especially with jobs, but if a student can't read or write in their native language, what good does it do them?
I haven't posted in about a week, because I have been working on putting together my webpage for the schools system in which I work.  So today, I do not have a project of the day, because my this week's project has been this:

Here is My Professional Webpage

Just scroll down to view what I have put on the school website.  It is not much, just basically an overview for parents to see exactly how I'm helping their children in the public schools. 

If you have further interest in what I do in public schools, here is my school profile. 

Before I die....

More and more, you hear people talking about what is on their "bucket list." You hear it more in my generation, ironically enough. The Baby Boomer generation, while ambitious, has a different perception of success more related to possessions than experiences. Generation X is a bit more practical, focusing on having enough, good investments, and a safety net for hard times. I am part of Generation Y. We were brought up my dreams, imagination, fiction, and Disney. We were told we could be whatever we wanted to be. Put into practice, fantasy crumbles in the real world...but not entirely. We can still pocket amazing experiences that makes us feel like the dream can be reality.

Some people have many things in common on their bucket list, such as marriage, children, world travel, owning a dream house, etc. These goals are no different than our previous generations. My generation has personalized their lists a bit more. Go to bucketlist.org/featured and you will read goals that inspire you, and some that you think are strange such as:Be an extra in a movie, milk a cow, visit the Louvre, plant a tree, see a Cirque de Soleil show, drink absinthe, fly first class, visit every continent, visit New York City at Christmas time!, experience an earthquake, eat sushi in Japan, go snorkeling, be part of a Flash Mob, rescue a dog/cat from animal shelter, visit San Fransico, go Scuba Diving, pay for a strangers groceries, cross the intersection at Abbey Road, nnuggle in a hammock, see the Grand Canyon, see a Broadway musical, go whale watching, capture lightning in a photograph, spend the night in an underwater hotel, be kissed on top of a ferris wheel.

I have a lengthy bucket list. Many things on it, I have already done. I have traveled to 5 countries outside the U.S. I've been on a cruise. I've seen most states (I'd like to see the rest). I've been skydiving. I had my dream wedding.  I am learning to play the violin. I've had my dream jobs (education, living history museum, and now translation). But I still have so much left to do. The things I lack, however, don't bother me. Because I know I'm doing all I can to make the most of my life *right now.* I am incredibly happy. If I died now, I'd feel okay that I lived a wonderful life. If I continue to live, I will feel elated to get to spend more time on this earth and have even more wonderful experiences.

So what is the first step? Make a list. Second step? Don't focus on what you lack. Focus on what you've acheived. Every day you get to live, be happy you have another chance to mark somethiing off the list, but don't let it bother you if you haven't yet. Be happy here and now.Comment to tell me a few things on your bucket list.


 Last week, I went to Louisville to celebrate my aunt's and my uncle's birthdays, and I made them some coasters! That is the Project of the Day. If you read a few entries ago and saw the baby blanket, it's made just like that, only wayyyyyyyyyy smaller. If you already knit, then just cast on 4, increase to 23, then decrease back down to 4. If you are more of a beginner than that, or need more instructions, comment and I'll elaborate.

My coasters

Playing Joan Rivers with History

Yes, the role of “Joan Rivers” will be played by me today.  I am going to talk about different fashion for women over the centuries, in an “E Network” kind of way.  :D

The awards go to:

Worst Dressed:  Women in the 1980’s and aristocratic women in the 1700’s.  I don’t have to explain the 80’s to you, because most of you know why that is.  But let’s talk about 1700’s fashion (European/American aristocracy).  The corset has come along, but for some reason, women are wearing it on the outside of their clothes.  White, powdered wigs are enjoyed as well.  Women would actually cut their hair off and wear these on a daily basis.  They not only powdered their wigs, but also their faces with a washed out, chalk white powder.  Don't forget the frilly sleeves!  Also, it seems like it was popular to make it look like you have “box hips.”  Instead of the beautiful southern belle hoop skirt to accentuate your hips that will come later, or accentuating your natural hips like pencil skirts of the 1940’s, 1700’s “Georgian” women make their dresses stick out to either side, creating a “box hip” look.  Real flattering….

Most Practical/Comfortable Dress:  People these days talk about “practical and comfortable” dress in the form of jeans and a t-shirt, but I disagree.  I think jeans are pretty far from comfortable (what’s comfortable about stiff pants that make your thighs look huge?).  If you want to talk about real comfort and practicality, look no further than Biblical times (specifically Jesus times).  Men and women wore robes.  Do you have to wash your hair?  No, just wear a veil.  Now, fashionably speaking, these look like giant mumu’s to us, but still, you can’t argue that mumu’s are comfortable.  Some would have been made of wool, which isn’t so comfortable, especially in the deserts, but I’m speaking of the ones NOT made of wool.  If you want to get this look, but in a much prettier way, look to general traditional Indian dress.  I mean the country, India.  Women wear/wore robes and veils, but much more colorful, and the robes are a tighter fit, decorated with jewelry. 

Most Scantily Clad:  Believe it or not, the answer to that question is not in the past 40 years, although, there have been some scantily clad…many in fact….it is not our “in general, acceptable, everyday fashion.”  I also exclude tribal fashion, because it does not count under “widely and popularly worn.”  So the winner for most scantily clad goes to ancient Egypt.  Sleeveless tops, dresses that go down to your feet, and nothing under it.  Sounds like I’m describing lingerie.  To make it more enticing...it was popular for a while for women to wear transparent linen.    

Most Modest:  To go from who wore the least to who wore the most, the award for most modest goes to Victorian women.  Queen Victoria herself set a very modest fashion for the 19^th century.  No low-cut tops or short dresses in this time period.  We have long-sleeved dresses, cinched slightly at waist, and dresses flowing to the ground, puffed out by layers of petticoats (and at times in the 19^th century a hoop skirt or a bustle).  Some of you may argue that 17^th century (1600’s) fashion was more modest because you’ve seen a picture of Queen Elizabeth where she has a frilly turtle-neck, which would be more modest.  This was not the fashion of all, just the queen.

Best Fashion of Now Times:  I don’t hate everything that comes out in the modern age (although I feel like fashion has become rather careless since the 1960’s, and also boring and ugly).  It’s funny, even though I said I hated the 1980’s (and yes, most of it was a terrible time for fashion) my favorite modern fashion came out of it.  It is a fashion that is popular now, once again.  This is the big shirts (pretty ones) with tights underneath it, cinched at the waist with a belt.  This look can be done with flat shoes, but I think it looks better with heels.  It is a flattering look to women was long as the big shirt (or better, short dress) covers you past the butt a little.  As long as it does that, it is wonderful to flatter your waist, your upper body, and your legs, as well as accentuating curves.   

Best Dressed:  Fashion is all about opinion, so in my opinion, the best time for fashion was the 1950’s.  1.)  You get to wear short sleeves, and even sleeveless for once.  2.)  Your dresses and skirts don’t need to go floor-length; they can go to the knees.  3.)  These are the most flattering to a woman’s figure because typical dresses are cinched at the waist, then flow out to the knees.  4.)  Hairstyles and make-up are meticulously done, but not overdone.  5.)  The whole look is pulled together with elegant, understated pearls, which were very popular.  The downside of this fashion would be that you still wear petticoats underneath, but I don’t think it’s as big of a deal when they are knee-length (they don’t get as hot).   

1950's style from etsy.com

"Runners Up" that are Well Dressed:  Even though I’m not a modern historian in the least, I prefer 1900-1950’s dress the most.  In the 1900-1920’s, we have some Victorian leftovers, but the fashion of this age mostly goes toward a more fitted look.  Your skirts still go to the floor, but they are flowy with less layers underneath and more fitted to your body.  Short sleeves become more popular and acceptable.  In the 20’s, you can dress in skimpier outfits and cut your hair off and look absolutely adorable.  The 30’s and 40’s are about jackets with big buttons to the side and knee-length skirts with a mere slip underneath, however very dark and neutral colors.  The pencil skirt starts to come along in this period, although many women still wear long skirts.  Another separate period I like is the 1500’s nobility.  You get the big dresses, but you can also enjoy low necklines, and tighter tops, so your natural figure is still in view.  Also, everyone loves the southern belle look of the late 1850’s, early 1860’s. 

Today's Project of the Day is another very simple one for everyone.  It's what's for dinner!  :D  Something very simple for busy moms or generally busy women (like me).  If you want something really fast and easy that is also delicious, try cooking rice, and separately cooking a can of vegetable soup, then pouring the vegetable soup over the rice.  It's very yummy, filling, and easy. 

Progresso Vegetable Soup over rice

"You lonelily let him push under your bones...."

I have had my own issues with temptation.  I've been faced with it in the form of real offers from men I once loved.  In my short marriage, I had to draw clear lines early on.  The first thing I turned to to figure out where my lines should be was google (lol).  I read experiences ranging from "open marriages" to "just being tempted is a sin," and everything inbetween.  The best source I have found on this issue is a blog I found http://star-crossed-hearts.blogspot.com/ .  This is a normal, middle-class Christian woman, wife, and mother discussing her story of having an "affair of the heart" and how it effected her marriage, how she dealt with it, and what she learned from it.  I highly recommend reading it.

Women tend to commit "affairs of the heart" more than men.  Yes, I realize it takes two, let me rephrase that.  Married women tend to commit "affairs of the heart" more than married men; they are commiting those affairs typically with unmarried men.  Men have more actual physical affairs that involve physical/sexual transgressions.  No, I'm not going to talk at length over which one is better or worse.  I will say that a marriage can with greater ease recover from a sexual affair than it can when a spouse has fallen in love with someone outside the marriage.

I don't know if this is true or not but I've heard that Johnny Depp once said, "If you are in love with two people at the same time, go with the second.  Cause you wouldn't have fallen for them if you still loved the first one."  I love Johnny Depp, but I disagree with that sentiment.  You can truly and deeply love lots of people at once.  You can love them for different reasons and they may be different people, but you can love two people at once.  Your love may be true, but that doesn't make it right. 

The number one reason these affairs occur, especially in women is a need for emotional validation.  When you have a bad day, your husband is working, or you feel neglected by him, it feels nice for that other guy to tell you how beautiful you are and how much they want you.  After being married, you don't get to experience that "crush" feeling so much and it feels nice. 

So you ask yourself "What is cheating?"  You say, "Flirting isn't cheating; giving someone a compliment isn't cheating."  Don't try to skirt the line to see how close you can come to cheating without it actually happening.  Just think, "Would my partner be upset if he/she knew I was doing this?"  That is the question to ask to figure out if what you are doing is right or wrong.  Sure, that text telling your ex-boyfriend how good he looks and how much you miss him is not cheating.  But would your husband be upset if he knew you said that?  I can tell you what your husband would be thinking.  Things like, "She never says that to me" or "I remember when she used to say those things about me."  It's things like that that lower their self worth and make them trust you less. 

In short, my line is set.  Being tempted is not sinful, but giving in to it is.  If it hurts my husband, it's not worth it, not matter what "exciting" feeling it may give me for five seconds.  This guy may be a fun crush, but it's my husband I love.

If you don't sew or knit, but you want to make one of my projects of the day, I have an easier one tonight.   It is a "homemade" candle.  I say homemade, because it is made at home, but from other candles.  You can melt down candles you already have or buy.  Melt these with caution in their containers, in a pan on the stove, on medium heat.  Pick out the wick and washer with tweezers or tongs.  Pour melted candle(s) into a new glass container with a homemade wick.  I used a washer and yarn (it burns faster than store bought candles, but it's homemade).  The way you can get creative with this is by combining colors or adding ingredients.  I had a vanilla candle melting and I added cinnamon to it to make it a cinnamon vanilla candle.  If you want a "rainbow" candle, you can pour in a little of one color, wait until that hardens, then pour on the next color, et cetera.  Here is one I made recently:



My "Homemade" Candle (Cinnamon Vanilla)



I'm a sucker for song lyrics, so here is a pretty good song, albeit a sad one, about a relationship ruined by affairs.  Just click the cut to.....

Real jobs for real moms...

Want to be a stay at home mom?  Are you already?  Perhaps you're a student?  Or is your dream job just to work from home?  Well, I would implore you NOT to type into google "work from home jobs" because you are sure to be overwhelmed with spam.  None of those links are honest.  Most of them require an "investment" (which means they are gonna take your money and you won't get anything out of it). 

However, there are REAL work online jobs.  I'm not talking about software developer, although if you are one, or want to be, that is a real online job that is quite lucrative.  I am talking about average women with average skills that maybe want to make a little extra money while they raise the kids or go to school full time. 

1.)  Professor jobs.  Yes, these will require a Master's degree.  Not an MBA, but an M.A. or M.S. in your respective field.  If you already have a Master's degree or are seeking one out right now, this will be a good choice.  There are full time professor jobs online, and there are part-time/adjunct ones.  The best place to look for these  is http://www.higheredjobs.com/ and click on "online/remote."

2.)  Other university jobs for those of us who do not have an M.A.  Once again, on http://www.higheredjobs.com/, they have online university positions other than teaching positions such as clerical, administrative, and technology opportunities.  It is listed under the search criteria as "remote/online," so just click on that.

3.)  Tutoring positions.  Now there are some scams associated with some of these, so once again, do not type in "work from home tutoring jobs" into google.  However, there are some good ones.  The best one by far is http://www.smarthinking.com/ .  Tutors can work anywhere from 8-19 hours per week and you get a regular, bi-weekly pay check like a normal job.  However, since they a reputable site, they do expect their tutors to be reputable, so bachelors is preferred.  The other one that is pretty good is http://www.tutor.com/.  On this one, you are paid monthly, and can get as much as 800-1600 a month if you are very active, but that would be the maximum.  I would still recommend Smarthinking over this one, though. 

4.)  Call center jobs.  Don't just google this one, because there are alleged "work from home call center jobs" that are scams.  Go through a respectable company like Alpine Access (http://www.alpineaccess.com/en/apply/).  If you have at least one year experience in customer service, a computer with internet, and a landline telephone, you qualify for this full time work from home opportunity with benefits.

5.)  Finally, if you would just like to see what random companies may be hiring someone to work online, go to http://www.simplyhired.com/ and type in "telecommute" into the "keywords" section and press search.  Don't type a location.  Just "telecommute" in keywords.  Then you will see many legitimate work online jobs.  Currently, the results reveal companies hiring for software developers, program managers, graphic designers, pricing analysts and customer service.

The number one thing I can say is NEVER TYPE IN "WORK FROM HOME JOBS" unless you are just really wanting to be scammed.  If you aren't satisfied with my recommendations, and really want to google search, please type in "telecommute" to get more reputable results.

My Project of the Day is a baby blanket! It is very easy if you are already a knitter. Just cast on 4 stiches and increase to 120 stitches, then decrease back down to 4 and cast off. I made one for my friend's new born baby for Christmas and I am actually working on making another one right now.



The baby blanket I made Gabriel





Gabriel and his new blanket