Project of the Day
For the project of the day today, I have been working on this yellow skirt. It is made very simply. I actually made one of these for a friend for Christmas, so I'll post the picture of that one since the yellow one I'm working on is not done yet.
The skirt above and the one I'm working on now are both made by hand. I measured my waist (27 inches). If I wanted a figure fitting skirt, I would only add a few inches to that. However, I want a full skirt, that I might could fit slips or petticoats under that has some natural flow to it, so I multiplied 27x2 for the width. For the length, I measured down past my knee (22 inches). So I cut material 54 by 22. I hemmed the bottom by hand. I folded the top over to leave room to insert a draw string and sewed that down. Make sure you leave room for a draw string to go between. Then I turned it around to where the "wrong side" or underneath side of skirt and sewed the length together by hand. Lastly, I turned it back out to the "right side" and inserted the draw string (some pretty, machine washable ribbon) with a crochet hook. The picture above is the first skirt I did. :D
There have been entire books written on the subject of human sexuality and the history of marriage and courting. So how can I fit it into one blog for the average woman to have a working understanding of it? Watch me. I will include brief descriptions of the history of marriage, courting, and sexuality since ancient times. I have researched this subject for years, so I have a basic knowledge of this subject enough to write in my own words from my memory. I think it's important for people to have at least a basic knowledge of this. Especially, it's important to remember that our way is not always the best way.
For instance, in our culture, you can choose who you want to be with. However, we have a 50% divorce rate, and many people choose how they want to be with by being promiscuous, which leads to unwanted emotional complications. In a culture with arranged marriages, the divorce rate is 2%. Yes, there are reasons for this. The point is, let's not think about which is better and which is worse, but think about the fact that even though everyone does it differently, the results are still the same: Man, woman, sex, babies. Not in that order always....and sometimes there were two men or two women, and much of the time 15 children per family. :D
If you have anything to add on the subject, or if you feel I've left something important out, please comment
(Forgive the brevity of this overview....this is a blog, not a textbook) So please click on the cut to...
*deep breath*
Ancient India has allegedly been called the first civilization to have "sex education." They had thorough instructions from art and the kama sutra to teach couples how to make the best of their love making. However, Indea was actually pretty conservative in this regard, considering sex a duty and private thing between a married couple. Polygamy was, however, acceptable. This view was actually shared by the Isrealites of ancient times. The Isrealites viewed sex as an act of honoring God (being fruitful and multiplying), therefore it was a duty. Polygamy was also acceptable, although not as common as the Bible would lead you to believe. In most civilizations were polygamy is acceptable, it is only common among the wealthy.
Mesopotamia, on the other hand, was a sexually open society. They did have boundaries to their sexual openness. For example, incest was not okay to them. But they did practice both heterosexuality and homosexuality, believing both to be socially acceptable. Another somewhat sexually open ancient civilization was ancient Greece. Greeks valued the beauty of the male figure as the preferable body between the sexes. Young men were considered to be the most beautiful. In marriage, women were for the bearing of children, and wives were often depicted in mythology as angry and vengeful. The only women who changed their role in ancient Greece were courtesans (well-educated, well taken care of prostitutes to wealthy men). It was not uncommon for men to seek companionship in these courtesans, as well as males and older boys. These boys would be their confidants, someone they could talk to while also quietly sexually involved with. The same thing occurred in Rome, only with more of both sexes, women and men, and less privately (meaning they were more open about it and that it was more socially acceptable).
China in ancient times and in current times emphasises conservative sexual values, such as virginity in women before marriage and at least the appearance of fidelity in men during marriage. Chinese government has always saught to control human behavior.
In New Testament times, couples were betrothed at a young age and this betrothal was serious enough to be somewhere inbetween engagement and marriage. For example, when Joseph found out Mary was pregnant, he was going to quietly divorce her...yet they were described as being betrothed, not married. So this betrothal was serious enough to require a formal divorce to get out of it.
I've already mentioned Rome was a sexually open society, and it continued to be that way until Christianity. In general, Christians view sex as both a duty and a gift within marriage. However, early Christians definitely struggled with this moderate view of sex. Many monastics were incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that sex was necessary for survival. St. Augustine described it as a "necessary evil." And these were the men teaching the people about the word. This doesn't mean people weren't still promiscuous...it just means that it wasn't socially or culturally acceptable to be.
As the centuries went on, marriages did become less arranged. I say "less" because they still were mostly arranged, but not as previous time periods. Dad still had the final say much of the time regarding who you would marry. Truly, the choice here was between the man who wants to marry you and your father. However, "following you heart" has never gone out of style. You can tell by the writiings of Shakespeare and many other beautiful authors and poets that love always was and will always be a part of marriage and sex.
In the 19th century, the man would come to your house to ask your father if he could court you and after a courting period (that was supervised entirely by Dad and/or Mom) you would be married. Marriages could be done at home by saying your vows to each other with you family as witnesses, or in a church. Children that came out of home marriages would be legitimate, meaning a couple simply saying their vows to each other in their parlor was a legitimate marriage.
The birth of modern courtship began slowly around the turn of the 20th century, and was mostly socially acceptable by the 1920's. The main cause of modern dating has been schools. In America before the 20th century, schools were a place where you got what is now equivalent to a 3rd grade education unless you're wealthy or in other rare instances. So even though people in the 1920's were dating to choose their mate, they were mostly meeting those mates at parties and social events. When high schools became a societal norm is when modern dating really took its current form. Kids hang around other kids their age and hormones are cut loose.
A Few Things:
1. There was never a time period when everyone was all "pure and innocent" and now we're just all terrible and slutty. Clearly, sluttiness is nothing new. As long as there has been people, there has been sluttiness. On the flip side, as long as there have been people, there has been marriage. Marriage is a logical union of people who want to begin a family.
2. If you google or wikipedia the "history of marriage" or anything like that, you will be overwhelmed with fallacies. Seriously, I looked at the wikipedia page and it was written so ethnocentrically, I don't know how anyone could take any of it as historical fact. So, if you want to research more on this subject, please look at legitimate, scholarly sources.
3. Try to look at history without a modern bias. For instance, do you love your parents and your siblings? I do. I didn't choose my family. My husband is my family. And I love him. Since I grew up in the modern age, I loved him before I married him. But you can't say arranged marriage is bad just because it's different. I've read many stories of arranged marriages, and many end with a deep love.
4. I do intend to write more blogs on related subjects in the future. For instance, I did not talk about teen pregnancy, feminist implications and the role of women, having children, and other things that this subject could envoke, because I intend to write separate blogs on these subjects in the future.
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